Loud as Hope
by awesomesausome
Summary: His mission to civilize had bigger consequences than he had intended.
1. Opehlia would rise if it was her song

It's my first time trying out these characters, so hopefully I do them justice. The title is from the song by Iron and Wine. I think that's all I got.

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me.

* * *

Jack Habib looked over at the man slumped in the chair, his head resting in his hands. They had been sitting there for a few minutes already in silence, and Will didn't seem in any hurry to start talking.

"Will," he spoke and the other man wearily lifted his head. "Is she okay?" Will snorted, and finally lifted his head up.

"You know, it's my fault. You're going to tell me that it's not, because that's what you do, but you're wrong," Will's voice was firm.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Will shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "It is. It's my fault and my damn mission to civilize."

"Tell me what happened," Dr. Habib said gently.

* * *

They're arguing when it happens. That's not unusual, and they've been gradually replacing the anger that tinged almost all of their arguments when she first returned with an underlying affection. It's almost like it was when they were dating, back before he knew about Brian Brenner (except usually when Will thinks of him, he adds a colorful adjective before his name. Because if sleeping with the woman Will loved, okay _loves_, wasn't enough, Brian then had to write that stupid, destructive article. But Will blames himself for that article. He brought Brian there to hurt Mac, to prove some point, he's still not sure what, and so he probably deserved what he got in the end).

He's trying to drive his point home, holding the door open for Mac to slip through first, and he's not sure what happened next. One minute, she's turning her head back towards him, smirking, and then her mouth rounds and she lets out a little gasp. And he hears shouting, but he can't focus on any of it; he can't focus on anything but Mac and the way that she's holding onto her side, and when she brings her hand away, it's covered in blood. And the blood is pounding in his ears, and he's vaguely aware of Lonny running away from them, towards something or someone, and he hears his name and Mac's name.

"Billy," she meets his eye, and he rushes forward just in time to catch her as she tumbles down, her hand still pressed against her side. He pulls her hand back, and there's, _God_, there's just so much blood. He moves her hands away gently and presses his own hands down, and she moans slightly when he increases the pressure, and her eyes start fluttering shut.

"Hey," he says to her, hooking a finger under her chin so that she has to look up at him. "Stay with me, Mac."

"So tired," she mumbles, and he shakes his head vehemently. "Hurts."

"No, Mac, no, stay awake. You have to stay awake," he's aware that he's pleading. Jim is there, suddenly, dropping to his knees.

"We called 911," he tells Will. He gets a good look at where the blood is rushing through Will's fingers, and he rocks back on his heels. "Oh, _Mac_, oh." And then Maggie pulls Jim away, and it's just the two of them again.

"I'm sorry, Billy," Mac whispers.

"Don't," his voice is sharp. "You're going to be fine, Kenz. You're going to be just fine. Don't apologize. Not for this, not for anything."

"Billy, I have to tell you," she starts, and he shushes her.

"Tell me later," his voice is firm.

The paramedics finally arrive and he's pulled away from her, but her hand reaches out and grabs his, and he stays there, by her side as they shout words that he only vaguely understands and start to rush her off into an ambulance.

"I'm going with you," he insists.

"Will," it's Lonny, appearing by his side suddenly and laying a hand on his arm. "You can't do that, it's not safe."

"Like hell I can't," Will tugs his arm away. "I don't care if it's safe or not. I'm going with her." He catches up to the gurney, and Mac's eyes open and she finds him and there's a look of relief on her face and he knows that Lonny is a big guy, but he knows he'd win this fight if it came to that.

"Are you family?" The paramedic asks as they start to load her in.

"Yes," Will doesn't hesitate, and they allow him to climb in and get settled next to her head and he brushes her hair from off her face and presses a soft kiss to her hairline. Her eyes are closed, and he leans so that he's right next to her ear and he whispers that she's going to be okay, that everything is okay, that he's here and he's not going anywhere, and that he loves her. Oh, God, does he love her.

* * *

"You told her that you loved her?" Dr. Habib interrupted.

"Yes," Will isn't ashamed of that part of the story. Him telling Mackenzie that he loved her as she bled all over the sidewalk was not something he regretted. His regrets were many, and varied, but that wasn't one of them. That could never be one of them. "I told her that I loved her. She was bleeding…there was so much blood. I didn't know one person could have that much blood and I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't do anything else, but I could hold her and I could tell her that I loved her, and that's what I did." Will clenched his fists by his side and closed his eyes for a moment. "There was so much blood."

"Tell me what happened next. Tell me what happened when you got to the hospital," Dr. Habib prompted gently.

"They took her away. They immediately took her away, and I just…I stood there, like an idiot. Like a lost idiot in the middle of the waiting room, covered in her blood," Will sighed and leaned back against the chair.

* * *

He didn't know what to do, or where to go. She's gone, swept away by nurses and doctors all rushing and shouting and he's lost.

Lonny arrives minutes later, hurrying towards him, with Charlie on his heels, and a crowd not too far behind him. Maggie's eyes are red, and she's gripping Jim's hand, not Don's, and Will can't focus on that right now, he can't focus on anything but Mac and how much she was bleeding.

Charlie takes control of the situation, because Will is in no shape to, and corrals everyone to a private waiting room where they all collapse into chairs.

"You should go get cleaned up," Charlie says, and Will shakes his head. He doesn't want to go anywhere until he knows whether or not Mac's okay. "It could be awhile, Will. You don't have to go home, just go to the bathroom and wash your hands and I can try to find something for you to wear."

"I'm fine," Will snaps.

"Will," Charlie tries again.

"Seriously, Charlie, I just…I'm fine," Will waves off the concern, and Charlie's not convinced, not by a long shot, but he lets it drop and lets Will fall back against the seat back and settle in for what's going to be a long wait.


	2. And say these words

Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter! As fair warning, I'm not a doctor or medical personnel. In fact, I am the single most squeamish person possibly ever in the history of mankind. Please keep that in mind. Cool? Cool.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

* * *

"Did everyone stay?" Dr. Habib asked. "You said there were quite a few people there. Did they all stay?"

"Yeah," Will said. "Yeah, they stayed. Someone, Don maybe? Someone called Sloan. She came down too." His eyes flicked sideways and then back to Dr. Habib. "They all…listen, what Mac's created? That little group that she's assembled for the show? And I'm not sure how she did that, brought all these people, that are so different and so, _young_, you know?" He waved his hand and then leaned forward in his seat. "Well you wouldn't know, because you're young too. But she's, somehow, just…these people care about each other, I mean, deeply care about each other. Mac did that. She did that. And more than anything, or anyone, they care about her." Will leaned back, and let out a strangled laugh. "So yeah, they stayed."

* * *

Sloan comes bursting through the door and halts when she sees everyone.

"Did something, did you hear anything?" She asks, and Charlie shakes his head, and she sighs and she sinks into the closest chair, which happens to be next to Will.

Will glances up and sees Jim across the waiting room, Maggie's hand in his, and Jim wearing the same shell shocked look that Will knows mirrors his own. Sometimes Will forgets how close Jim and Mac are, that they spent years together in unimaginable situations. In fact, Will shudders to think about it, but Jim has the dubious honor of being the only other person in the room who knows what it's like to hold Mackenzie McHale in his arms while she's hurt and bleeding, and the thought of it is almost enough to propel Will out of his chair and over to where Jim is.

"I'm not good at having friends," Sloan's voice is uncharacteristically timid and he turns his head slightly to acknowledge her. "But Mackenzie…she's a _really _great friend, and I can't…she can't…" And Will reaches out a hand and takes hers and gives it a squeeze. It's all the comfort that he can manage, but it seems enough for Sloan, who turns to him with watery eyes. "She'll be okay, right? Because there are too many people who need her to be."

He's stopped from saying anything by a doctor appearing in the doorway and Will's on his feet, still holding Sloan's hand and tugging her up with him.

"She made it through surgery, and we are confident that she should make a full recovery," the doctor says, and Will breathes out. "We managed to stabilize her and remove the bullet. But she lost a lot of blood, and we put her in an induced coma to give her body some time to heal."

"Can we see her?" Jim asks.

"Two can go back once she's back from recovery, I'll get a nurse to come find you when she's settled," and once he leaves, Will feels shaky with relief and is grateful for the chair right behind him.

Mac's okay. She's okay. Will wants to see her, lay his eyes on her, see her chest move up and down and know that she's breathing, that she's still here, that he doesn't have to deal with the possibility of a future that doesn't feature her.

It's enough to make him realize that he doesn't need to forgive her, or maybe he already has, he doesn't really care about the semantics. All he needs is her, and the rest can work itself out.

* * *

"That's not how that works, though," Jack Habib was always the annoying voice of reason, and Will glared at him. "I'm incredibly glad that she's going to be okay, but just because you had this epiphany doesn't mean that all your problems are going to just straighten themselves out."

"You know, Doc, you're really starting to annoy me," Will told him, and Dr. Habib gave a small nod.

"I'm aware."

"I love her. I realized that. I love her and I want to be with her, and that's more important than my pride or my stupid penchant for holding onto grudges. It took her nearly dying for me to see it, but it's an unchangeable fact. I love her, and I want to be with her, and I'm ready for that."

"And you're sure that this isn't just a reaction against holding her while she nearly bled to death from a bullet that you thought was meant for you?"

"Well, Christ, Doc," Will let out a whoosh of air and folded over with his hands on his knees. "Warn a guy before you decide to stab him in the heart. But no, I don't think this is 'just a reaction.' I'd like to see it more as the push I needed to finally realize that I was being an idiot." He closed his eyes for a moment and saw Mac's pale face, her blood staining his hands, and he shook his head. "The bullet, it _was_ meant for me. It's not just something I thought. That bullet did not hit its intended target." But holy hell, how he wished it had. He would give anything to be the one in the hospital.

"It doesn't mean that it's your fault she was hurt," Dr. Habib said. "And I do think you're ready, by the way, I've thought you were ready months ago."

"Well, gee, thanks. Why didn't you say something?" Will asked.

"You needed to get there on your own, but I am sorry that it took something like this to get you there," Jack looked genuinely sorry, and Will felt his heart constrict.

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

Jim and Will go back first. They're both quiet on the way down the hall to the ICU, and it's Will who breaks the silence first.

"I know you've been here before," he says softly. "With Mac, I mean. I never thanked you for taking care of her that day. I've been told you carried her to the field hospital." Jim nods his head, once, twice, and looks over at Will.

"She asked for you that day," he finally says after a beat. "She said if something happened I needed to look you up and tell you that she loved you and she was sorry. I thought maybe you should know that." He stops in front of Mac's door, and squares his shoulders as if he's going into battle, and Will gets a glimpse of Mac in the bed, wires and tubes and machines everywhere, and his chest clenches.

Jim leaves Will the chair, knowing that Will is going to be here for awhile, and instead steps to the other side of Mackenzie's bed. Will flashes him a look of gratitude before sitting down and taking Mac's hand in his.

"They told me, in Islamabad, that they thought she could still hear me if I talked to her," Jim says. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Mackenzie's forehead. "Mac? It's Jim. You're going to be okay. You're stubborn and strong, and you're going to be okay. Do you understand? You're going to be fine." Will runs a thumb over the back of Mac's hand and then lifts her hand to his mouth to brush a kiss along her knuckles.

"Jim's a smart guy, Mac," he adds. "So I would listen to him."


	3. Summer comes with its color

Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters.

* * *

"Were you there when she woke up?" Dr. Habib asked, and Will gave him an incredulous look.

"Where the hell else would I be?" He replied. "I sat there for two days straight, willing her to open her eyes. I didn't really believe that she would be okay until she opened her eyes. I wasn't going to take some punk doctor's word for it."

"Some punk doctor?" Dr. Habib raised an eyebrow and Will shrugged.

"I needed to make sure that when she woke up the first thing she saw was me, and the first thing she heard was that I loved her. I wasted a lot of time, I wasn't going to waste anymore."

"Did it scare you to think that maybe she didn't feel the same way?"

"Of course I did," Will answered. "I thought maybe I was too late. Or maybe I had really blown it when I brought in Brian."

"That wasn't your finest hour," Dr. Habib agreed.

"It was stupid and destructive and petty," Will replied. "Yes, I was terrified that maybe that ship had sailed, that she would tell me, 'Oh that's nice, but I don't feel the same way.'"

"She didn't though, did she?" Dr. Habib saw a small smile on Will's face for the first time that day.

"No," he shook his head. "She didn't."

* * *

Will shifts uncomfortably in the chair and sighs, tangling his fingers in Mackenzie's.

"You can wake up any time you want now Sleeping Beauty," he mutters. Mackenzie didn't stir, and he was becoming restless. The doctor said she would be awake any time now, and Will had never been a particularly patient man. Now, waiting for her to wake up, waiting to tell her that he loved her and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to make up for the fact that he had been a spineless prick, he was ready to climb the walls.

He knew that she was sorry, but he had let his pride get in the way. She had hurt him, and he had wanted to hurt her back.

"I love you," he whispers, and is desperate for her to wake up so that she can hopefully say it back. (Please, he thinks, please, please, please say it back. Please don't let it be too late. Please don't tell me that you've moved on. )

He should have told her what the voicemail said. She had been relentless in her pursuit of that message, but he had been stubborn (go figure), and had refused to fall victim to her wheedling and her pouts.

He's closing his eyes, just for a moment, when he feels her fingers move.

"Mackenzie?" His eyes pop back open and he can see that she's moving, slightly, her face in a small frown. "Mac? It's Will. I'm here, honey, just open your eyes." Her eyes flutter and he feels his heart constrict. "That's it sweetheart, that a girl." She blinks a couple of times and looks confused.

"Will?"

"Kenz," he breathes out her name like it's a prayer, and he can feel hot, relieved tears prick at his eyes.

"What happened?"

"Don't move," he places a calming hand on her arm and she stops fidgeting. "You were shot. You're in the hospital."

"Shot?" She looks so damned confused.

"We were walking out of the building together, do you remember?"

"You were arguing with me," she says, thinking. "I don't remember what, but I remember you were being particularly annoying." She gives him a small smile, which turns into a wince, and he leans forward and brushes a kiss along her hairline.

"There was a gunman," he says softly. "They were aiming for me. God, Mac, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey," she reaches up and takes his hand. "None of that. It's not your fault. How long have I been out?"

"A few days," he replies. "I should go get the doctor. And Jim is here, with Sloan, I think." The whole office had been coming and going the past few days, taking turns sitting vigil waiting for Mac to wake up, and then hurrying back to the office to produce a show that she would be proud of. _He_ was proud of them, of their team, of these people who would do anything for him or Mac. He was so incredibly lucky to have these people surrounding him.

"Stay for just a second longer," she requests, giving his hand a light squeeze.

"Mac, I need to tell you something. I promised myself that I would tell you as soon as you woke up."

"You've got your serious face on, Billy," she teases lightly.

"It's about that message. The one you didn't get to read," he starts.

"Are you going to finally tell me? Now, when I'm delirious with pain, and high on painkillers?" Mac asks. "That seems a little unfair."

"I know, I should have told you this months ago, I've been stubborn," he replies, and Mac snorts.

"Stubborn, yes. I would have used a stronger word," she shoots back. "Obstinate."

"I don't remember exactly what was on that message," he tells her.

"Pigheaded," she continues.

"But I thought you might not wake up, and I just…"

"Mulish," she throws out.

"Damn it, Mac, I'm trying to tell you that I love you," he cries.

There. It was out. He can see the surprise on her face, and it takes her a minute to process the words.

"I didn't know I had to get shot in order for you to admit you still loved me," she answers after a moment of silence. "If I had, I would have gotten shot ages ago." He presses a fierce kiss onto her smiling lips.

"Don't say that," he admonishes, and just in case this is the last time he gets to kiss her, he leans in for another kiss. "But that's what the message said. Or at least, that was the gist of it. I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I'm hoping, and if I'm wrong I'm sorry about that kiss, only not I'm not actually that sorry, but I'm hoping that you feel the same way." There's a moment of silence and then Mac grins.

"I love you too," she tells him. "I always have. I always will. You're stuck with me, buddy." He laughs, his relief overwhelming, and then stands.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to go get the doctor," he says, and she nods a couple of times, suddenly exhausted.

"I'll be here," she tells him.

* * *

"So she's awake, and she's okay, and she loves you, but you don't seem very happy," Dr. Habib recapped. "What's the problem?" Will sighed.

"I should have been the one that was shot," he said. "That bullet was not meant for Mac. It was meant for me, and it was my idiotic mission to civilize that got her into this mess. And yeah, okay, she's awake and she's okay. She's still not home yet, and they're worried about infection, and she's got a pretty hard recovery ahead of her, and you don't know Mac. She hates sitting home and resting, she hates it. She's going to be itching to get back to the office, but she can't. She can't. And that's my fault. And I hate that it's my fault."

"It's not your fault," Dr. Habib repeated.

"You keep saying that, stop saying that," Will pointed a finger at Dr. Habib. "She wouldn't be in this much pain if it wasn't for me."

"Did they catch the guy?"

"Yeah, and let me tell you, I'd love just a few minutes in a room by myself with him," Will said.

"Did he say he was aiming for you?" Dr. Habib asked. "Did he?"

"Yes. He said that he was aiming for me, but that he would take Mac as an acceptable replacement," Will's fists clenched at the thought.

"Did he show any remorse?" Dr. Habib's voice was gentle, and Will snorted. His fists were clenched so tightly that his fingernails were digging into his palms.

"He said he was sorry that she wasn't dead."

* * *

"I want to go home," Mac whines, and Will glances up at her. He was finally going back on the air that night, and he was sitting with his feet on Mac's bed, and the script, which he was trying to read, in his lap. Mackenzie had never been a good patient, and even though he knew that she was still pretty weak, and still in a considerable amount of pain, she was still antsy to get out of that hospital bed.

"You've only been conscious for this side of 24 hours," Will points out. "You'll get out when you get out."

"I hate hospitals," she pouts. "Break me out of here, would you?"

"No," his voice is firm. "You'll do what they tell you to do, Mackenzie Morgan McHale. You scared the ever living shit out of me, and you're going to rest and take it easy and recover at a normal pace, not at the break neck speed you think you can."

"I'm already feeling better," she argues.

"You can only stay awake for twenty minute periods. You fell asleep on Maggie not two hours ago in the middle of a story," Will argues back.

"In my defense, it was a boring story," Mackenzie replies. Will stands and drops a kiss onto the top of her head.

"I'm sure it was," he grins. "But that doesn't change anything. Enjoy this very rare, restful time." It would be easier, he's sure, for her to enjoy it if she wasn't in so much pain. He hates that she's in as much pain as she is, and though she attempts to be stoic, particularly if another member of the staff is back in her room, he knows her, and knows that she's in far worse shape than she's letting on.

Mackenzie mutters something that he doesn't quite catch, and he settles back into the chair.

"By the way, when you do finally bust out of here, you're coming back to my place," he drops it casually, and holds his breath for her imminent outburst.

"What?" There it is. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you _can_," he says. "But you're hurt, and you're going to need help, even if you don't want to admit it. Besides, I'll feel a whole hell of a lot better if I know that you're safe, and you're not overdoing it, and where I can make sure you're okay." He doesn't want to let her out of his sight, but he's not sure if admitting that would scare her away. He doesn't even really want to go do the show tonight, but Mac had insisted, and he was in no position to refuse anything that she requested.

"Fine," her voice is soft in defeat, and Will leans over to kiss her. He missed kissing her, and he couldn't get enough of it. The thought he almost lost her ghosts across his mind before he can stop it, and he pulls back to cradle her face in his hands.

"You have to listen to the doctors, Mac," he pleads.

"You're looking maudlin, Billy, stop that," she replies. "I'll listen to the doctors. I'm fine, Will. I'm _fine_."

But she almost wasn't fine. And he can't stop the image of her bleeding on the street, and he can't help but think that it might happen again. Some other nutcase with a gun will come after them, maybe even target _her_ instead of him, and he can't handle this again

"Will," she breaks him out of the downward spiral he was on, and presses a quick kiss to his lips. "It's all okay. I'm okay. It's going to be okay. We're okay."

We're okay, he repeats in his head. We're okay.


	4. All to take your breath away

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

* * *

"Have you gotten her settled at your place?" Dr. Habib asked.

"How do you know she's been released?" Will countered, his eyes narrowing.

"I called."

"You called? The hospital? And they just let you know that?"

"Well, yes."

"Shouldn't that be…I mean, shouldn't that be some sort of HIPAA violation?" Will demanded.

"I don't think they would have told me if I hadn't identified myself as a doctor, if it makes you feel any better," Dr. Habib said. "When you called and said you needed an appointment, I was just trying to prepare myself." Will was silent, and then nodded.

"She's home," Will acknowledged after a moment. "My home, I mean, not hers. Jim and Maggie are with her now, so that I can be here."

"Does she need someone with her at all times?"

"No, well, maybe. I don't know. I know that I want someone with her there, at least for a little while. She thinks that she can do things, but she can't, and I'd hate for her to pull out her stitches doing something stupid." There was another pause. "This was Charlie's idea, by the way."

"What was?"

"This session. It was Charlie's idea. I didn't want to leave her side. I hate that I'm here, but Charlie seemed to think that we needed to proactive about this."

"And this is?"

"My guilt over the whole thing. Come on, you and I both know that it can't be healthy for me to blame myself for Mac's injuries." Dr. Habib gave a slight chuckle.

"And yet…"

"I know on an intellectual level that it's not really my fault. Just like I knew, intellectually, that Mac had atoned for her sins and should be forgiven, but knowing something and accepting it are two very different things. So I know, okay? I know it's not my fault, except that it is my fault. It is. And I can't close my eyes without seeing all that blood, and I can't watch her in pain and know that I had something to do with it. It's killing me. So. I'm here. So we can work on that."

* * *

When Mackenzie is discharged from the hospital, Will buys her lilies, her favorite kind of flower, and she nearly bursts into tears when she sees him holding the bouquet.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he says stricken.

"You remembered my favorite flower," she blames the pain pills for making everything a little fuzzy, and for the fact that flowers are making her blubber like a baby. She's not usually like this, and she can tell her emotions are freaking Will out almost as much as they are freaking her out.

"If I had known this was going to be your response, I would have skipped the flowers," Will mutters as he comes to her side. She's waiting patiently in a wheelchair, having lost the argument with both the nurse and Will to be able to walk out on her own. "Lonny's bringing the car around. We're leaving through the garage." It had been decided, by both Will and Lonny, that based on safety concerns, and thanks to the press camped outside the hospital, it would be best to spirit Mac out of the hospital via the service elevator and the employee only parking garage. Mac hadn't argued with this, and Will knew that she was still more shaken than she cared to admit about the attempt on both their lives.

"I love the flowers, Billy," Mac says, attempting to rein in her emotions. She tips her head up, and he's more than happy to oblige, bringing his mouth down to meet hers in a soft kiss.

"Good," he replies, and pushes her out the door and down the hall.

He can't stand to see her struggle to get up into the large vehicle, so he scoops her up in his arms while she protests and slides her into the backseat.

"You're going to pay for that later," she frowns at him. "That can't have been good for either your back or your knees."

"Let me worry about that," he shoots back, and he sees Lonny smirk from the driver's seat. Will knows that Lonny's going to get quite a kick out of watching Mackenzie boss him around, but he can't bring himself to care. Because Mac is coming home with him, and he gets to kiss her and hold her, and Lonny's raised eyebrows and smug smiles are a small price to pay to be able to wake up next to her every day.

Mac yawns, and rests her head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to the crown of her head. The drive to his apartment doesn't take too long, but when they pull up there's a crowd of photographers waiting outside his door and he hears Lonny swear and Mac's head pops up.

"Jesus," she mutters, and Will wraps an arm around her and gives her a squeeze.

"We'll go in through the garage," he assures her. "It's private property; there shouldn't be anyone in there."

There shouldn't, but there is. A few enterprising photographers have managed to get into the garage and are waiting when Lonny pulls up. They snap pictures of the car, and Will feels his blood pressure rise, and Mackenzie takes his hand.

"Stay here," he orders Will and Mackenzie, and hops out of the car to deal with them. Mac keeps a tight grip on Will's hand until Lonny has rounded up the trespassers and dragged them out of the garage. He appears at the door, and Will climbs out of the car first.

"How'd they get in here?" Will is a type of angry she's only seen a few times before, and has been only directed at her once. "What the hell is the point of all this extra security if people can still get through? What if that wasn't a photographer? What if that was another nutcase?" He wheels around and stops when he sees Mac's pale face. She's completely devoid of color; the idea that someone else with designs on hurting one or both of them could get into the building have terrified her more than she's comfortable with.

Mac considers herself a brave person. Will always used the word reckless, to which Mac would roll her eyes and ignore him. She's rushed into many a dangerous situation head on with little to no regard for her safety.

This, though? This is different. This is not like a riot, or a war zone. There's no story here to chase, no reason to be brave and face certain danger for the greater good. This is, quite frankly, bullshit. She hates that this person, this lunatic and his ilk, has frightened her so thoroughly.

"Will," her voice is not as calm and collected as she would have liked, but it doesn't shake, and for that she's grateful. "Can we please just go upstairs?"

Will deflates, all his misdirected anger spent, and Lonny rushes over to help Will help Mac out of the car. She holds onto her side as Will wraps an arm around her and they slowly make their way across the few feet to the elevator.

When they get upstairs, Mackenzie is exhausted, and Will gives her a pain pill and tucks her into bed so that he can properly brood.

He's on his second glass of scotch when Charlie arrives, calling and asking to be let up. Will considers refusing for a moment, he's only on his first hour of what he knows was going to be a long and particularly painful brooding fest, but he caves and lets Charlie up.

"How's our girl?" Charlie asks when he steps into the apartment.

"Sleeping. In pain. Scared," Will replies, lifting up the bottle of scotch as an offer, and Charlie nods.

"And how are you?" Charlie asks.

"Guilty. Scared," Will answers honestly. He hands Charlie the drink, and retreats to his chair.

"She's going to be okay, Will, and it wasn't your fault," Charlie tries.

"Right."

"I think you should go talk to someone. Immediately," Charlie doesn't waste any time, and Will is shaking his head before Charlie can ever get the words out.

"I'm not going anywhere right now," Will insists. "I need to be here for her."

"She's sleeping right now. I've hired extra security for both her and your building, and Jim and Maggie are on their way here right now. They can sit here while she's sleeps, which she's going to be doing for the next few hours or so, and while she's sleeping you can call whomever you need to and start working through this."

"Working through what?" Will's voice is incredulous. "I'm not the one who was shot."

"You were the one they were aiming for. You were the one who was standing right next to her. This happened to both of you, Will, and Mac's going to need to talk to someone when she's up for it, and in order for you to help her get through this, you're going to have had to face some of your demons," Charlie argues.

Will is quiet for a moment, but he can sense that this is one of those things that Charlie will not take no for answer.

"Fine," Will huffs. "Fine. I'll make an appointment." Charlie beams and takes a sip of his scotch.

"Good. I'll sit right here and wait while you do," Charlie answers.


	5. Winter turns

Thanks for the reviews so far! I really appreciate all the kind words. (You can feel free to continue. Honestly, I don't mind.)

Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters. (If I did things would be a lot different.)

* * *

When Will returns from his first session with Dr. Habib, he finds Mac still sleeping and Jim and Maggie playing cards at his dining room table. They glance up when the door opens and he steps in, and Maggie is quick to jump to her feet as if they are still in the office.

"She's sleeping," Maggie reports, and Will nods, exhausted. He's not sure if going to talk to Dr. Habib helped or not, and he's still slightly bitter about the fact that Charlie basically steamrolled him into going, but he's too tired to think about any of that.

"Thanks, guys," he says.

"She woke up once, and she took a pain pill," Jim adds helpfully. They make their hasty exit after that, hurrying out the door and telling Will to relay to Mackenzie goodbye for them, and then the apartment is quiet.

He shrugs out of his jacket as he moves down the hall to his bedroom and when he opens the door he sees Mackenzie curled up under the covers. He had insisted on her sleeping in his bed.

"I'll sleep somewhere else," he had offered. "That's not what this is about. This is about the fact that you were just _shot_ and my bed is a thousand times more comfortable than the guest bed."

"I don't want you to sleep somewhere else," Mackenzie had replied. "I just didn't know if we were there yet." She had settled in his bed quite nicely after that, with minimum fuss. If Jim and Maggie had noticed what bed she was sleeping in, both were polite enough to not say anything.

She turns slightly when walks over to the bed, blinking sleepily at him.

"Where'd you go?" She asks, and he feels a wave of guilt wash over him for not being here.

"Charlie thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to Dr. Habib," Will answers as he changes into a t-shirt.

"That is a good idea," Mac replies. "I'm glad you listened."

"I didn't have much of a choice," Will mutters, lifting up the covers and slipping in beside her. It's earlier than he's gone to bed, in well, years, but he's exhausted. "Are you sure you don't want the bed to yourself? You_ are_ recovering from a gunshot wound."

"Be quiet. The only thing I want is right here in this bed with me," she responds and he gathers her carefully into his arms. He runs his fingers through her hair and is quiet for a moment.

"It's my fault you were shot," he says softly, and Mac turns so fast that she gasps in pain and then hits him as hard as she is able to at the moment.

"You're an idiot," she tells him.

"_You're_ an idiot. Did you just pull your stitches? Jesus, Mackenzie, you were just _shot_," his voice is exasperated and she curls herself up next to him.

"It is not your fault," she says. "Are you listening to me? It. Is. Not. Your. Fault."

"You wouldn't be…" he starts and she interrupts.

"I wouldn't be a lot of things without you, Will," she tilts her head up and presses a kiss to his jaw line. "You didn't pull the trigger, you didn't put me right in the bullet's path, you didn't do anything you should feel guilty about."

"I can't help it," he murmurs. "I hate that you were hurt because some lunatic had terrible aim."

"I was hurt because some lunatic, who doesn't really know you, decided that, for whatever insane and awful reason, he hated you and everything you stood for enough to want you dead." Her voice is firm, and her grip on his hand is firmer, and when he leans in, she thinks he's going to kiss her, but instead he buries his face in her hair and it's a moment before she realizes that he's shaking. She manages to move slightly, slowly, carefully, so that she can place her arms around him the best she can.

"It's okay, darling," she whispers.

"It's _not,_" Will insists. "Even when I was so mad at you that I couldn't think straight, I never wanted…" He shook his head trying to find the words. "I couldn't imagine…I still wanted you to be okay." He remembered suddenly checking her broadcasts from the Middle East, telling himself that he just wanted to get caught up on the competitors, but knowing it was so that he could see for himself that she was still in one piece.

When Charlie had come in that awful day to tell him that Mac had been stabbed in Islamabad, it had stolen all the breath from his lungs, and it felt like he couldn't breathe again until Charlie confirmed that she had made it through surgery and was being stabilized and transported to a base hospital in Germany.

"Will," she says softly, running her fingers through his hair. "It's _okay_. Because _I'm_ okay. And you're okay."

"You almost weren't."

"But I was. I am. And silver lining? It reminded us of what was important. You and me. It helped us to work things out," she presses a kiss to his forehead.

"You and me was always inevitable," Will tells her.

"It didn't feel that way," she replies. "But even if that's true, we still were able to skip past months of bullshit."

"Not worth it," he insists, but he seems to be pulling himself together a little more, and for that Mackenzie is grateful.

"Listen to me, I know you. I know how guilty you must feel, but I don't blame you. No one blames you, Billy."

"You don't need this," he says after a moment. "You don't need to deal with me and my shit on top of everything else. You should focus on getting better. Resting."

"I'm a multi-tasker, Will McAvoy. Don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot do," she grins at him, and he kisses her soundly. He drops another kiss into her hair, makes sure that she's comfortable, and then closes his eyes to try to get some sleep.

* * *

"I wasn't sure I would see you back here so soon," Dr. Habib said. "We just saw each other last evening."

Will shrugged.

"Mac seemed to think talking about it was a good idea," he admitted. "And I listen to her." She was about the only person that Will McAvoy seemed to listen to, but Dr. Habib chose not to say that out loud.

"How is she doing?"

"She was awake when I left. Sloan was there to keep her company. She's still in pain, but I'm assured that it's normal pain," Will scoffed at idea that the amount of pain that Mackenzie was in could be normal. He paused. "We talked last night when I got home. About me feeling guilty."

"And I'm sure she said the same thing the rest of us did," Dr. Habib guessed. "That it's not your fault?"

"She said she didn't blame me."

"Were you afraid she might?" Will shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Yeah."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"Better is a relative term," Will replied. "I still hate to see her in pain. I'm not going to be truly better until she is."

"But did it?" There was a long moment of silence, and Dr. Habib was just about to ask another question when Will answered.

"Yeah. It did."


	6. All the summer's love to gray

Here's the next chapter! Only a couple more to go. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

* * *

"I can go back to work," Mac argues, and Will shakes his head.

"You absolutely cannot."

"I'm almost healed!"

"You aren't anywhere near almost healed. You aren't a mutant freak of nature, Mackenzie, and it's not even been a week since you were _shot_. Do you understand that? You almost _died_, and you cannot, will not, go back to work until a doctor says it's okay to do so," Will yells. He gets that Mac is frustrated, he's frustrated for her, but she's already pushing her limits and it's making him crazy. Every time she reaches for something she shouldn't and winces, he wants to do something drastic, like lock her in a room with nothing but a mattress until she's completely better. He sighs, because she's looking at him with her big eyes and it's doing all kinds of things to him. That look has gotten him to agree to all kinds of things he wished he wouldn't have in the past.

"I'm sorry," she says, and he wraps an arm around her and kisses her temple.

"I'll bring some things home for you to do," he promises. "Compromise."

"I just hate feeling useless," Mackenzie mutters, and he runs his fingers through her hair and pulls her completely against him.

"You aren't useless, you're resting, there's a difference," he says softly.

"Feels the same," she sighs. "The show was good tonight, Billy." Her words are muffled because she's turned her face to bury it in his chest, and he feels the vibration before he really makes out what she's said.

"I hate having Jim in my ear," he tells her.

"Still, you're holding down the fort without me quite nicely," she pulls away and goes to settle down on his couch. She's not said anything about returning to her own apartment, and if Will has his way, she never will.

He had returned home tonight and found her more stir crazy than usual, and though it was driving him nutty, he loved returning to his apartment to find her in it. He wanted to talk to her about moving in, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up, or when to bring it up, but he wasn't stupid enough to try it now, not when she was this cranky.

"We're doing an adequate job," Will concedes. "But it's not the same. Everyone is working their ass off to do a job you'd be proud of, but no one is going to be satisfied until it's you back in the control room." This makes Mackenzie smile a little, and when Will finally is able to shrug out of his jacket, he notices that it smells delicious in his apartment. His eyes narrow and he turns to Mac. "I smell food. You didn't cook did you?" Mac scoffs.

"Like I could cook something that smells this good? I ordered in. I thought you might be hungry."

"Did you eat?"

"I wanted to wait for you," Mac says shaking her head. He decides, seeing the exhaustion clearly written on Mac's features, that he's going to bring the food to them instead of eating in the kitchen, and tells her to stay put. Mac's feeling too sore and too tired to argue, and is undeniably grateful when he brings her a pain pill along with her food. He drops a soft kiss onto her lips, and settles down with a plate next to her.

"This is nice," he says after a moment. "You hurting aside." Mac shot him a sideways smile and leaned into his side.

"Well, right," she answers and presses a soft kiss to his jaw. "It's almost perfect."

* * *

"Do you have a lot of visitors?" Dr. Habib asked. "To your apartment? Now that Mackenzie is there?"

"Why do you ask?" Will replied.

"You made an off hand remark about how much more like home your apartment is now that Mackenzie is there. You used the word sanctuary. I wondered if you had guests, or if you discouraged that."

"I can't stop Sloan Sabbith from doing anything, let alone stop her from coming to my apartment to see her best friend who is recovering from a gunshot wound."

"They're best friends?" Jack looked momentarily stunned.

"Terrifying, right?" Will smirked. "The combined intelligence of those two women is astounding. Way, way higher than our," he gestured to himself and Dr. Habib, "combined intelligence. No offense."

"None taken," Dr. Habib waved the comment away.

"And Charlie's there a lot. Actually, there's a constant stream of people. Jim comes, brings Maggie, I'm not sure what's going on there. Mac would probably know. But I don't mind it."

"You don't?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Will sounded slightly offended. His reputation for being a curmudgeon was starting to really annoy him. Gruff but lovable, Mackenzie always said.

"You just really seem like someone who likes his space undisturbed," Dr. Habib said.

"Well, yeah," Will said. He shifted in his seat. "But it's not…Mac likes the company. She's going stir crazy, and they take her mind off of the fact that she's stuck in bed. And it's actually…well it's kind of nice. Jim brings his guitar some times, and Sloan is actually a pretty good baker and she claims our kitchen is way bigger and better equipped than hers, and Neal keeps bringing these odd cult classic movies for Mac to watch, and sometimes Sloan will make food and Jim will bring Maggie and his guitar and we all just sit and watch these weird films, and it's nice. It's really nice."

Dr. Habib nodded, and then smiled at Will.

"What?" Will asked.

"You said 'our.'"

"What?"

"You said 'our kitchen. '"

"I did?"

"You did," Dr. Habib confirmed.

"Oh."

"You want her to move in?"

"She basically _is_ moved in," Will retorted.

"But you want her to stay for good?" Dr. Habib questioned.

"Of course I do! She makes everything better. And she's safer in my building. Her building isn't safe, and this cannot happen again. I can't handle anything else happening to her. She's already got a scar from a knife and now a scar from a gun. She's done. Off limits."

"Is that moving fast?" Jack asked.

"Is what moving fast?"

"Mackenzie moving in with you?"

"No."

"No? Two weeks ago you were at each other's throats, and now she's pretty much moved into your apartment?"

"No."

"It's not even up for discussion?"

"No, it's not. Fuck that. I'm too old for that. I love her. I want to be with her. I don't _ever _want to be with anyone else. I know that. She knows that. We wasted too much time, _I_ wasted too much time, being angry and bitter and I could have been happy all that time. If I would have just dealt with my shit, I could have had Mackenzie back and I would have been happy. It shouldn't have taken a maniac with a gun to make me realize that I might never forget what she did, but she's more than earned my forgiveness. That I can't live without her. That she makes me a better version of myself. Charlie told me once that on the off chance I won't live forever, maybe I should try to be happy. Mackenzie makes me happy. She makes me whole. I don't need to wait what others deem is an appropriate amount of time before hitting major relationship milestones. I don't give a shit how it looks to other people. If she's in, I'm in," Will was emphatic and Jack Habib gave a small shrug and a smile.

"I wanted to make sure you weren't rushing into anything," Dr Habib explained. "And I agree with you. If she's in, then I say go for it."

"Thank you. I don't need your approval, but thanks," Will said, and he sat back in his chair and was quiet for a moment.

"What?" Dr. Habib asked. Will shook his head and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he spoke.

"They've determined that the person who shot Mac wasn't the same person who threatened me," Will cleared his throat. Dr. Habib sat for a moment, trying to absorb the information. "He was still aiming for me, he said he was still…but it wasn't…that other guy…he's still out there. He's still out there, and Mackenzie is going to be by my side even more often than she was before, and I'm not sure how to…I never worried about it before. The threat, I mean, but now…I lay awake in bed while she's sleeping and I imagine all the ways that this nutbag can come after her. How many ways he can hurt her. She's still in so much pain, and if this happened again?"

"You can't think like that."

"No, I know that."

"You _can't_, Will."

"She's not safe with me. Not really. If I wasn't such a selfish prick, I would let her go so that she could be safe."

"When she wasn't with you, she was stabbed," Dr. Habib pointed out. "You can protect her from everything, unfortunately. With you or not with you, anything could happen to her. I don't mean to make you panic, I just want you to realize that you don't control the universe. You said she makes you happy? Then forget the guilt, forget trying to keep her at arm's length in order to keep her safe. If something, God forbid, happens again, it will not be your fault. Keeping her close is not selfish. It's not, Will."

"Yeah," Will sighed. "Yeah."


	7. Summer comes, yeah, loud as hope

Hi guys! Hope you enjoy! By the way, I have no earthly idea how long it would take to return to work after a gunshot wound. I went with an even month. If that's not even close, I apologize. Thanks for the reviews, you guys are the best.

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me.

* * *

"You have that serious look you get when you're thinking too hard about something," Mackenzie accuses and she traces the worry lines on Will's face. It's been four long weeks since the incident, as Mac has taken to calling it, and she finally had gotten the all clear to return to work. She had watched one last show from bed earlier that night, and when he had returned home and crawled in next to her, he had looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

On day six of her convalescence, she had quietly brought up the subject of returning to her apartment. She didn't want to, he didn't want her to, but in typical Will and Mackenzie fashion, neither of them had communicated their wishes very well. The conversation that occurred reminded Mackenzie a whole lot of the famous "Who is on first" comedy routine. It had also resulted in their first minor fight as a newly reunited couple, and had ended finally with Mac yelling,

"I don't want to go home, you dolt! I just didn't want to overstay my welcome!" And Will responding with,

"Well,_ I _certainly don't want you to go home, I've been trying to get up the courage for days to ask you to move in for good, for Christ's sake!" Mac's face had softened and a small smile crept across her face.

"You want me to move in?" She had asked.

"Of course," he sighed.

"You don't think it's too soon?" She questioned. Will had shrugged.

"I know that we wasted a lot of time, and I'd like it if we didn't waste any more," he answered truthfully. "But I understand if you aren't ready." Dr. Habib had prepared him for the possibility that Mackenzie might need more than two days to decide to move in with Will.

"You've had a life altering epiphany brought on by the realization that you could have lost her, but she was unconscious and recovering from a gunshot wound," Dr. Habib had said. "Just don't totally freak out if she needs more time to make such a big decision."

"I'm ready," Mac assured him, tugging on his t-shirt and pulling him closer to her. "I don't need more time. I absolutely do not need more time."

She had only been home once since then, Will firmly planted by her side, to pack a suitcase with essentials. Since then, he and Lonny would stop by on the way home from work most nights to grab things she requested. They took handfuls of clothes and boxes of books and her apartment was emptying out as his, no _their_, apartment was becoming more cluttered. Will strictly forbid Mac from physically moving anything, but she was given free reign to buy new furniture and he hired movers and decorators to pack up the rest of her things, and she was allowed to oversee the progress from the couch, dictating where to hang photos or put rugs and vases.

The move gave her something to do while she was stuck in bed, and kept her from completely losing her mind. She was far from completely moved in, and she still had to figure out what to do with her apartment, but she was there every night when Will returned home, and it felt so damn good.

And now she was returning to work, and he was brooding. She wasn't sure what exactly was wrong, but she knew him well enough to know that he had entered full on brood mode.

"Don't worry about it," he says, kissing her softly. "You should get some rest."

"I'm fine," Mackenzie waves his concern away. "I'm worried about you."

He doesn't know exactly how to tell her, because she's so excited about returning to the office, and he'd hate to dampen her mood, but he's terrified of her returning to the office, and not just because, her hurting aside, being cocooned in his apartment these past few weeks, leaving only a handful of times to go to doctor's appointments or to her old apartment to pick up things or oversee the packing, has been wonderful. But mostly he's terrified for her. In here, she's safe, out there, she's not. The unresolved threat is there, lurking, and his breath catches when he thinks about it.

"Please don't worry," he says, and he picks up her hands and intertwines their fingers. "It's just my stupid shit." He sighs. "I'm just...I couldn't stand if anything else happened to you."

He wants to lock her up, here in their apartment, where she's whole and unharmed. He wants to make sure nothing can hurt her, nothing can touch her, and he knows that's ridiculous, and that he can't. They have to resume their lives, she has to resume her life, but it's hard to forget the image of her bleeding.

"Will," Mackenzie's voice is soft.

"There's...you know, still people who want to hurt me."

"Trust me, I know," Mac mutters.

"You were shot because you were standing next to me," Will says.

"You're afraid it could happen again?"

"Of course I am!" Will cries.

"You're right, it could." Will makes a strangled sounding noise, and Mackenzie squeezes his hand. "Or you could be hurt. Or it may never happen. But you can't worry about it, Billy. Because you can't do anything about it," Mac tries to reason. "I know you feel guilty about what happened, and I know only time is going to make that any better, but I promise you no one blames you, least of all me. And I would be lying if I said that sometimes I didn't think about it. I worry about you too, you know. But we can't live like that."

"I know," he says, and he tugs her closer to him. "I do know that."

"All I know, Will, is that I'm here, you're here, we're both fine, and I love you," Mac tells him forcefully. "And for the moment, I can't think of anything else that matters."

* * *

"This was Mackenzie's first week back at work, right?" Dr. Habib asked. "How'd it go?"

"She was a force to be reckoned with," Will said with a small shake of his head. "Of course, she over did it and tired herself out, but other than her being exhausted at the end of the night, it's going pretty well."

"Now that the week is half over and nothing bad has happened, are you less terrified?"

"I never said I was terrified," Will argued, and Jack just stared at him. "Okay, yes, I was terrified."

"But you made it through the first couple of days, and things are slowly going back to normal?"

"Except that she lives with me now, and when we leave at night, we leave together," Will pointed out.

"Those are good changes, I would think," Dr. Habib said.

"Those are _very_ good changes," Will corrected.

"Are you still waiting for the other shoe to drop?"

"I'm not," Will tried. He sighed. "It just always does seem to drop."

"You can't live like that," Dr. Habib said.

"I'm aware, Mac and I already had this conversation," Will smirked at his doctor. "You're becoming more and more superfluous, Doc."

"I imagine you think that would offend me," Jack returned the smirk. "But it's actually sort of my goal to make myself superfluous."

"I know that I can't keep worrying about things out of my control, but it's only been a month. Cut me some slack. I'm doing pretty well, all things considered." Will acknowledged the fact that he was fucked up. But even still, there was no one he was going to bounce back from watching Mackenzie slip away from him while he held her bleeding in his arms, not in a month.

"You _are_ doing well," Dr. Habib agreed. "And I think it's great that you're talking to Mackenzie about your fears."

"I can't screw this up," Will said. "This relationship, I can't fuck it up. Ruining this relationship is the only thing that scares me almost as much as that fucking psycho still out there."

"You won't screw it up," Dr. Habib reassured.

"You don't know that, you can't say that for sure," Will argued.

"Considering all that you've been through, and the fact that both of you have lived without the other and you were both unhappy," Dr. Habib said.

"It sucked," Will interrupted. "Being away from Mac sucked."

"Right," Dr. Habib continued. "So odds are you're going to work harder than most to make sure that this relationship works."

"It has to," Will replied. "It just has to."

* * *

Sometimes they were so busy that Will forgot that he had ever been worried about Mackenzie returning to work. She tired easily, and he hovered more those first few weeks back, but with an election and all the other things happening in the world, they were so crazy busy that Will forgot about the threat.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Thanks to Lonny's constant presence, it was hard to completely forget about the threat, but Lonny only showed up in the mornings and after the show to escort Will and now Mackenzie home.

Some things had changed. Will _always_ exited the building before Mackenzie, his body firmly planted in front of hers. She wasn't sure if that would ever change, if he would ever slip up and hold the door open for her and let her slip out first. But she didn't mind it, not really, it eased his mind and it was such a small thing. He would take her hand and he would lead the way out of the building, his body protecting hers, Lonny protecting him. She knew that he replayed that night in his head, sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and have to tug her closer, and she knew that he was seeing the blood stain her blouse, his hands shaking and covered in red, and she would plant a row of kisses along his jaw and whisper that she was there and that everything was okay.

They still fought, though now they worked out their differences sometimes with Will pulling Mackenzie into his bathroom in his office and attaching his mouth to hers against the locked door. More than once Mac had to veto office sex.

"This place is made entirely of glass," she argued. He had raised a challenging eyebrow, and she had shaken her head with a smile.

And they had visitors, _Will_ had visitors, something that had rarely happened before. They started doing dinner at their apartment after Thursday night's show every week. Sloan was a regular, as were Jim and Maggie, who were dating, casually, Mac had told him. Neal was there with a new girl almost every week, and usually there was at least another member or two from their team. Charlie stopped in when he could, and Don had been showing up more and more after the ten o'clock show was over and making sure his seat was next to Sloan's. Some nights it was just a few people, and some Thursdays it was a crowd, causing Will to wonder how in the world Mackenzie had ever gotten him to agree to this.

"I get tired of Hang Chew's," she pouted.

The funny thing was that he actually _liked_ it. Which surprised the hell out of him.

"Sometimes I think being shot was the best thing that could have happened to me," Mac mused one night as they were curled up in bed. It was a Thursday, and Sloan had been the last to leave. It was a small crowd that night, just Sloan, Tess, and Neal. They had argued about reforming welfare, and drank copious amounts of wine, which Mackenzie knew was going to bite everyone in the ass when they arrived at work in the morning.

"Don't say that," Will's voice was firm.

"Would we have gotten here without it?" She asked.

"Yes. We would have. And that night? The night you were shot? That was the worst night of my life, Mackenzie. So I can't imagine finding anything good about that night."

"I'm just saying, silver lining," Mac murmured. Will knew she was a little more than a little drunk, and he pressed a firm kiss to her forehead. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm happier than I've been in a really, really long time, Billy."

"I know," he brushed her hair off her face and leaned in for a kiss. "But still, don't say that."

"It was harder for you," she said suddenly. "My being shot. I was unconscious. It was harder for you that night than it was for me. Although, it was no picnic for me, either. But, still."

"It's not an experience I would be willing to repeat," Will said, and that was an understatement. It was an experience that still kept him up at night, terrified. It was an experience that had done some damage, and he was so, so grateful that she was okay and that here she was in his bed, but it was still something that he could have done without.

"No," Mac said softly. "I wouldn't want to either."

"Go to sleep, sweetheart," he told her. "You're going to be cranky in the morning. Maybe you shouldn't have cracked open that third bottle of wine."

"You, shush," she smiled a crooked smile at him. "I love you, Billy. A lot."

"I love you too, Mac," he replied. "So much."


	8. And takes your breath away

All right, guys. This is it. Two chapters in two days! I feel so accomplished. This is the last chapter. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: Oh right, I don't own the characters.

* * *

"What happened?" Dr. Habib asked. Will shifted in his chair. "Something's happened. You've been, well, happy lately."

"I have been happy," Will answered immediately.

"But something's happened," Dr. Habib prompted.

"Yeah."

"Is Mackenzie okay?" Jack asked. He hadn't heard anything, but Will was slumped over in the chair the same way that he had been the first session after Mackenzie had been shot.

"Yes," Will said, he leaned forward, and Jack could see the flicker of relief. So Mackenzie was fine. That was good. "It's not...it's not bad. I just..." He sighed. "They caught the guy. The internet guy? They caught him."

"That's...good, right?" Dr. Habib was confused. Will didn't look as relieved as he thought he would.

"It's...yes. It's good. It's...I spent so much time and energy worrying about this. I made Mac worry about this, even though she holds things together much better than I do, and it was for nothing. I didn't have to waste that much time thinking about this asshole. They caught him. You know how? He had an expired registration sticker and when they pulled him over they noticed that he had a cache of weapons in the car."

"Isn't that how they got Timothy McVeigh?" Jack asked. "An expired registration sticker?"

"Yeah, I think so," Will answered. "This guy also had a computer in his car, and they figured it out, I'm not sure how exactly, but they figured it out. That he was the one sending the threats. He lived in New Jersey. He lived so close." He clenched his fists and shook his head. "I made myself crazy worrying about this idiot."

"But now you can stop," Dr. Habib said.

"Once I get something in my head, it's pretty hard to stop," Will replied. "I thought I'd be more relieved. I thought I'd be able to stop thinking about Mac being hurt, or worse. And I still can't. A fucking expired registration sticker. That's who I was worried about?"

"You were worried about the unknown. You're still worried about the unknown. This guy is caught, but you still worry about others. After all, this guy didn't hurt Mackenzie, someone else did."

"Yeah." Will still wanted to be able to spend some time alone with that guy. He had asked everyone he knew to pull some strings and allow him to visit the shooter, but they had all wisely said no.

"But Will, you're happy. You said so yourself."

"I am, yes." He was. It was the damndest thing. He tried not to compare this time with Mackenzie with the last time they had been in a relationship. No good could come of that. But he recognized that things _were_ different this time. Mackenzie was more confident in the relationship, more settled. She said "I love you" just as vehemently and often as Will did.

"Do you worry about it every day?"

"Not so much anymore. I mean, it's been almost six months, and things are still...nothing else has happened. Except they caught this fucker."

"You're always going to worry a little bit, that's just you. You're like a dog with a bone when you get something stuck in your head. But if you don't think about it every day, and you're happy, then forget it. Stop worrying about worrying about it."

"That's your big advice? Stop worrying about worrying about it? That's what I pay you all this money for?" Will asked incredulously. "I think I want a refund."

Dr. Habib ignored him, "You can't control everything, Will. You've come a long way, you and Mackenzie both have. Stop over thinking things."

"Mac says I'm in my own head too often," Will muttered.

"She's very smart," Dr. Habib said. "She could probably do my job."

"She can do everyone's job," Will said, and Jack could hear the small trace of pride in Will's voice.

"You're going to be fine, Will," Dr. Habib said. "And so is Mackenzie."

* * *

Will left Dr. Habib's office and hurried home. He was finally going to put that very expensive, very beautiful ring to good use. It had been just sitting in his drawer all this time, and he hoped that it would finally see its way onto Mac's finger.

He didn't have Lonny's constant presence anymore, not since they caught the guy and eliminated the threat. He would never tell anyone, but he sort of missed the big lug. Will had gotten used to him always being there.

The apartment was quiet when he walked in the door. Mackenzie was at the office, and for a moment it felt like it had before she moved in, too big, too empty, and too quiet. But there was her book and her blanket on the chair where she had curled up the night before, there was her mug on the kitchen counter, there were her paintings and the rug that she had purchased that he claimed to hate, but actually maybe secretly loved, which was the story of his life, really. He was always claiming to hate things that he maybe secretly loved.

He went to his safe and punched in the code. Mac knew about the safe, but she didn't know the code. He kept both their passports there, and their birth certificates, and it was where he had shoved the ring when he decided that if it sat in his office, across from where Mac sat and argued with him on a daily basis, he would liable to try to shut her up by pulling the ring out and she deserved a better proposal than that.

He wanted to propose tonight. He thought about doing it on air, but Mackenzie would kill him for interrupting the show. He wanted to propose and he wanted to immediately go to a Justice of the Peace and make Mac his wife.

He wasn't so sure she'd go for the second part of the plan, and besides, Charlie had reminded him that he would have to get a marriage license first, and he would need Mac to be there for that.

Will had confided in Sloan, hoping that wasn't a mistake. Sloan had beamed, thrown her arms around Will, and told him not to fuck anything up.

"I won't," he promised, and Sloan had nodded, her eyes watery.

"I know you won't," she said sincerely.

When he arrived in the office, the ring was burning a hole in his pocket. Mac was in her office, and she looked up and smiled when he stepped in.

"Hey, I wasn't sure when you would be back," she said. They had a pretty strict no PDA rule at the office, but he couldn't help but come up behind her and drop a kiss onto the top of her head. She looked up surprised. "What's wrong, Will?"

"Nothing's wrong," he insisted. "We're still on for dinner after the show, right?" Mackenzie raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"Are you _sure_ nothing is going on?" She asked.

"I'm absolutely sure," he replied. "Now, fill me in. What did I miss while I was gone?"

* * *

Will was acting strange.

He had been acting strange all day.

It had started before he left for his appointment with Dr. Habib, although it seemed to have gotten worse after he returned. During the show he was practically…fidgety.

"What's with you?" She asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Nothing, I'm fine," he insisted.

"You're acting bizarre, Will."

"I'm fine, Mac. Just drop it, okay?" So she did. For the moment. The minute he was off the air, she was at his desk.

"Something's wrong," she said firmly.

"Nothing's wrong, you ready for dinner?"

"You're being weird."

"I'm not."

"Why won't you tell me what's going on?" Mac asked.

"Mac, please. Can we just go to dinner?"

"Will you please tell me what's bothering you?"

"I will. At dinner."

"Because something's up," she said as he slid out from behind the desk.

"Christ, Mac, can we just go to dinner?" He shouted. Mac blinked at him a couple of times, and he sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I'm…"

"Let's go to dinner," she said softly, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We'll talk about it over dinner." And Will nodded, reaching his hand down into his pocket and feeling the cool ring, and following Mackenzie out of the studio.

* * *

"What's happened?" Jack Habib asked Will. He didn't think he had ever seen Will this relaxed before. It was almost unnerving.

"What do you mean?"

"Last time you were in here you were all keyed about guy who threatened your life, and now you're all calm and collected," Dr. Habib said. He paused and narrowed his eyes at Will. "Are you high?" Will let out a laugh at that, and shook his head.

"No. I'm not. I could say something cheesy like I'm high on life, but you and I both know that's not really my style."

"Something's happened," Dr. Habib declared.

"Yeah," Will smiled and nodded.

"Did you finally propose to Mackenzie?" Jack asked. He knew that Will had been thinking of proposing. He had asked Jack practically every week if he thought it was too soon. Will was looking like the cat who ate the canary, and it occurred to Jack that he might have finally done it.

"Well, yes, I did," Will said, and his smile grew wider. "I decided to listen to you. You were right, Mackenzie being shot was a wake up call, and I thought, well hell, I'm not getting any younger. We wasted a lot of time, and maybe some people think it's too fast, but I don't care."

"I'm guessing she said yes," Dr. Habib said, his own smile widening. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Will rubbed his hands together, and it was then that the sun caught something on his left hand and Jack Habib froze. Will followed Dr. Habib's eye line down to his hand and grinned. "Did you know that while there's a 24 hour wait to get married in the state of New York, there is no such wait in the state of Connecticut?"

"I do now," Dr. Habib said, laughing lightly.

"If you don't mind, Doc, I'm going to cut out a little early today," Will announced, climbing to his feet. "The wife and I have a plane to catch."


End file.
